University Milestones: Getting Drunk for a Week

University is the start of new life: new friends, new beginnings, new possibilities. A chance to capitalise on your potential and begin the career and relationships that will last for life.

It is also about getting wasted.

That is what (alongside my required reading, if you’re reading this and over 35) I have largely been doing this week. I have been pissed every night, from Sunday to Saturday, and I feel I am now in a position to share my experiences with the world.

      

      1)      Drink water

My god, I do not overstress this point. this is the difference between feeling hungover and being sick into a bin at eight oclock in the morning. Invest in a waterbottle, and more helpfully, a sink.    

      

      2)      Do not wear things you like out

I made the mistake of wearing things that I bought in Madagascar (#gapyah, #smuggit) out in Durham, and I lost them. This means that now I have lost a total of five necklaces from that marvellous country, and that I can’t actually replace them, because it’s a ten hour plane journey away and I’ve got a meeting of the chocolate society on Sunday.

      3)      Choose your drinks carefully

Highest alcohol percentage, lowest price. I have drunk more vodka and cokes this week than in the previous 19 years of my existence. Also, VKs are marvellous and beautiful and I want one on my gravestone.

      4)      Get a Subway card

I go to subway every night, get the same order (steak and cheese ftw), eat it and stumble drunkenly home, so I might as well get loyalty points. I have added it to the stack of loyalty cards mum made me get before uni and that no one ever uses.

      5)      Have fun

Being drunk is great. You feel more confident, the weather doesn’t affect you as much, and you can have enlightening conversations over who’s the best hole in the wall presenter. It’s Dale Winton, everyone else in the queue, you are wrong.

Has being drunk for a week changed me? Not really. It has opened up new and exciting possibilities though, such as being sick in a castle and singing Phil Collins’ ‘Sussudio’ at 3 am. I would wholly recommend getting drunk for a week, for making great memories that you can’t remember three minutes after you wake up.